Jewish Herald Voice 2013 Bar Mitzvah Magazine
By Menachem Posner. Photo by MaltzPhotography.com
The son of an Episcopalian father and a Jewish mother who had joined the Southern Baptist church, the extent of Ben Hadden’s Jewish experience was the occasional holiday celebrated at his elderly grandmother’s home. “I had a growing desire to discover and connect to my Jewish heritage” he said, “but didn‘t really know how or where.”
But a wrong turn in the fall of 2012 changed all that. “I was out running,” says Connecticut native who has relocated to Houston to study social psychology at University of Houston Graduate School, “when I accidentally turned down a street I had never been down, and there was this giant menorah in front of Chabad of Uptown. Knowing that the menorah was Jewish symbol, I thought that maybe Chabad would be a place where I would be able to learn more about my heritage. I called them up and asked if perhaps they would be able to accommodate someone with my limited Jewish exposure. In hindsight it was probably the best place for me, but I didn’t know that yet.”
Rabbi Chaim Lazaroff, who directs Chabad of Uptown with his wife Chanie, remembers their first meeting. “I welcomed Ben to Chabad and introduced him to our programs. I was just thrilled that the oversized menorah drew him in. People always ask me why I leave it up all year long. This is why.”
With time, Hadden began attending classes and Shabbat services. When Lazaroff suggested that he celebrate a belated bar mitzvah, Hadden wanted to make sure it would be a meaningful event, “not just getting called to the Torah and reading a few lines in transliteration. It had to be something that took real effort. I started learning Hebrew so that would be able to read the Haftorah.”
The date chosen was Saturday August 10, which is Elul 4, Hadden’s 25th birthday on the Hebrew calendar.
In the interim, Hadden spent 10 days in Israel, a participant in a Birthright trip led by Mayanot, after which he was inspired to start keeping Shabbat every week.
Karen Nudelman, Hadden’s girlfriend, who is also regular at Chabad, put her head together with Chanie Lazaroff to plan the party. “Since Chabad of Uptown is a young-professional community and many of us came of age during the 90’s, we decided to make the celebration a typical 90’s-era 13-year-old bash,” Nudelman said.
“Eventually we settled on a surprise theme that combined Star Wars and Doctor Who, two of Ben’s favorites. We even had a piñata that looked like TARDIS, Doctor Who’s time-traveling space ship. Chabad of Uptown is a really tight knit community, so it was really a communal effort. Everyone pitched in.
“On the day of the bar mitzvah, before Ben got up there to read, I had knots in my stomach, but as soon as he started reading I couldn’t stop smiling. My Israeli-born mom turned to me and said, ‘He is doing really well,’ and coming from and Israeli that is quite a compliment. I was so proud.”
Hadden said that with his bar mitzvah behind him, he’s not planning to stop his Jewish education. “Now that I can read, my next challenge is to learn how to understand Hebrew. I want to know what I am reading when I pray,” he said, “and I want to continue to deepen my connection with Judaism and with God.”
Rabbi Menachem Posner is a lecturer, freelance journalist and writer. He lives with his family in Montreal, QC. He can be contacted via his website, menachemposner.com